Notes, Dedications, and Nightbreak's Assorted Rambles. [3]

     These'll be brief, folks.  Club Anipike grew out of a couple of silly lines I penned
a few months ago.  One never knows who'll drop by next or what's on tap at the bar
for anime and fanfic characters.
     Thanks go to all the folks at Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings, of which I am a
proud member.  To Jamie Jeans who borrowed this little idea to use as his new
MSTing format.  All the best of luck to him.  And to Greenbeans, the author of the
"College Life" series, starring Haruka and Michiru of "Sailor Moon."  Now her
character gets her own little cameo.
     Enjoy, anime lovers.  Enjoy, fanboys.  And enjoy, my friends.

     Oh, yeah.  Every character mentioned herein belongs to their creator.  Samantha
Jones belongs to Jamie Jeans, Tuxedo Chris belongs to Chris Caldwell (hope I
spelled that right), and Pat Lee belongs to Pearson Mui.  Any other self-insertion
characters belong to their authors.  "It's three in the morning, do you know where
your writing characters are?"
     The name Anipike belongs to the owners of the Anime Turnpike.  I use it
without their permission, but I figure it's common domain.


                         CLUB ANIPIKE

- - - - -
Part 5
- - - - - 
     "Incoming!"
     Haruka twisted the wheel violently as Michiru shouted the warning.  The
yellow sports car swerved around a lamppost and sought refuge amongst the other
Senshis' cars.  As soon as they screeched to a halt, the two of them turned around
in their seats and looked back expectantly 
     Where they had originally been, a twisted heap of metal crashed into the
ground, raising a cloud of dust.
     The two Outer Senshi got out of their car and exchanged wry grins.
     "Evas," Michiru said simply, hitching her slender body up to sit on the edge
of the hood.
     Haruka nodded and looked over her shoulder.  "Hey, you okay, Beans?"
     From somewhere on the backseat floor, a brown-haired girl peeked up. 
"_What_ was that?" she asked, shakily climbing over the side of the convertible.
     "If you want to know what almost landed on us, I believe it was a
Volkswagen Rabbit."
     Beans stared at the two of them in surprise.  "How can you be so calm? 
You're not going to tell me that you're used to this?"
     Haruka shrugged.  "Well, considering everything that we've been through in
the last few years, something like having a small car fall on you out of a clear
evening sky doesn't rank that high on my list of surprises."
     Then, far away, another metallic crash could be heard.
     Michiru shaded her eyes, squinting into the setting sun.  A tiny black spot
was hanging in the air.  "Haruka. . ."
     Her partner glanced up.  "It's not heading our way," she said, closing her
door.  "Let's go in."
     Off to their right in an abandoned field, another two tons of broken
automobile plummeted into the weeds.
     As they neared the front door of Club Anipike, it flew open and a bunch
of characters piled out, A-ko, Nuriko, and both Sailor Jupiters among them.
     Shampoo stepped forward.  "You all right?"
     "Just fine," Haruka told her.  Turning around, she eyed the wreckage. 
"Need some help in hauling those scrap heaps off the lot?"
     "If you like.  Nuriko, Dio, and Lita take one closest to cars.  Rest help
Shampoo move one in field."
     The two groups scattered.

     As Beans was jogging along with her friends, a red-haired girl in a fuku
caught up to her.  "Hi!  I don't think we've met before.  Name's A-ko, of the
"Project: A-ko" anime."
     She shook the outstretched hand.  "Beans.  I'm from the "College Life"
fanfiction."
     A-ko smiled.  "Ah.  Self-insertion character.  Any super-powers?"
     "Umm, no."
     "Martial Arts abilities?"
     "Nope."
     "Superior intellect?"
     "Not particularly."
     "Know Japanese?"
     "Well, yeah."
     At that, A-ko broke into a wide grin.  "That can be overlooked.  So, a
decent self-insertion character has finally come to the Club.  It's way past time."
     Beans felt more than a little confused.  "Huh?"
     Michiru leaned over.  "Most fanfic authors here have written themselves
into our series as super-beings, with powers and abilities way beyond our own," she
confided, "They can be rather. . . irritating, at times."
     Shampoo snorted.  "Shampoo think Pat Lee qualify as bit more than
"irritating".  I go to tournament to watch him fall!"*
     "It's a shame Haruka and I can't make it," Michiru sighed, "But none of the
authors used us in their stories."
     "Be thankful for small favours."  That from Haruka.  "Okay, everyone, get
in position and we'll take this heap of scrap out of here.  Beans, do us all a favour
and watch the sky.  If you see a large shape heading for us, yell."
     Beans watched as the other girls encircled the former automobile.  "Hey, if
no one minds me asking, _why_ are cars falling out of the sky?"
     Makoto tossed her ponytail back over her shoulder.  "It's the Evas.  They're
playing their little game of "Kick The Volkswagen."  They're going by distance
tonight, it seems."  She gestured with her head.  "Now, watch for them!  Their aim
isn't always that good."
     With almost no discernible effort, the five anime stars lifted the wreckage up
and tossed it into the back lot of the Club.  Malachite would be able to use it for
spare parts at his auto shop just down the highway.
     Just then, another echoing smash reached Beans' ears.  She started
frantically searching the sky, hoping to find a trace of the missile.  "I think another
one's coming!" she warned.
     Shampoo looked up as well.  "Shampoo see it.  It going to go over us.  We
safe."
     Beans sighed in relief and began to relax a bit.  Looking back up, she gasped
as she was nearly flattened by a doorframe.  "Uh-oh!  It's coming apart up there!"
     A muffler struck the ground a few feet away and stuck there, quivering, as
Makoto raced over and grabbed Beans' arm.
     "Come on!" she yelled, "You'll be safer inside!"
     They had taken less than a dozen steps towards the Club when a shadow
loomed over them.  The two girls glanced up to see a large chunk of metal heading
directly for their piece of ground.
     Beans immediately gave Makoto a hard shove, trying to push her out from
underneath the danger zone, but the Senshi had braced herself and was going
nowhere.
     Too late.  Neither was she.
     "THE . . . WORLD!!"
     Time stopped.
     Literally.
     The falling mass ground to a sudden halt about ten feet off the ground. 
Makoto was frozen in the act of readying a "Sparkling White Hot Pressure" attack
to try and save them both.
     Unable to move, Beans could only watch as the man, Dio, ran past her.  He
leapt into the air and punched a hole through the side of the wreckage with the ease
of punching through tissue paper.  The sound of ripping metal echoed eerily as if
she was hearing things through a tin can.
     A giant, ghostly figure in armour framed him as he swung his arm, throwing
the car back where it came from.  Then the figure slowly faded out of sight,
shrinking back into Dio's body as he returned to earth.
     Time also returned at the same moment.
     Makoto's attack blasted harmlessly into the atmosphere and Beans' legs
failed her as she sat down suddenly.  All around them, car parts sprinkled
harmlessly to the earth, doing no more damage than scratching the paint on a few
cars.  Although some of the Tank Police would be more than a little miffed at the
chips on their machines.
     Off in the distance, another crash signified that the throw had found its mark.
     Feeling numb, Beans could only stare as Dio offered her his hand.
     "To answer the questions in your head, what you just saw was my Stand,"
he told her, " "The World" has the ability to stop time.  As the user, I can move in
the stillness for the few seconds needed."  He helped her back up.
     She managed to find her voice again, just in time to thank him.
     "No thanks are necessary.  You have been a good influence on Haruka all
the time she has been working for your author.  It would be a shame to lose you. 
Not to mention the horrible retribution the Senshi would take on the crew from
Evangelion for killing you.  The blood feuds would split the Anime world and quite
possibly lead to its destruction."
     Beans shot a glance over at her two friends, as if to say, *He's kidding, right?*
     Michiru shook her head slowly and drew her thumb across her throat while
pointing at Haruka.  Her partner merely smacked one fist into an open palm.
     Deciding that it was not an issue she really wanted to get into at the
moment, Beans shook her head as well.  "Thanks anways, for saving the Anime
world from self-destruction, then."
     He inclined his head, then spun on a heel and walked away.  A few steps
from the doors of the Club, he threw his head back and began laughing insanely,
getting louder and more intense as he shoved the doors open and strode through.
     Beans shot another glance at Haruka and Michiru.  "He's not well, is he?"
     "Perfectly," Haruka said, "But he wouldn't be one of the greatest villians if
he didn't keep his evil, maniacal, psychotic laughter in tune.  It's quite the stress
reliever, actually."
     "I'll take your word for it," she said dryly, "Now, how about some food? 
That is, if we're done out here."
     Haruka cocked an eyebrow and looked up at the sky.  "Well, looks like that
return throw discouraged them a bit.  I'd say we're finished."  She put her arm
around Michiru's shoulders and shrugged.  "Let's go in.  You can help us rip apart
the latest in bad fanfiction over dinner.  My treat."
     As everyone made their way back inside, no one saw the three giant mechas
now playing tag on the horizon.

- - -

*= Visit the Author Avatar Arena Tournament on Shinji's Vault Of Anime
 MSTings and watch 16 of the worst self-insertion fanfic characters duke it
 out for the prized Author Avatar belt!

Http:\\www.geocities.com\Tokyo\Temple\4007


- - -
Part 6
- - -

     *Author Avatar Special!  Do not read unless you wish to see spoilers for the
tournament up to the semi-finals.*
- - -

     Misato snorted and popped the tab on another can of beer.  "Jotarou?"
     The bartender of Club Anipike stepped up beside her.  "Would it make
you feel better if I sent someone to kill them?"
     "Tempting, very tempting.  But the Galaxy Police are still around.  You'd
never be able to get away with it."  She passed a hand over the bridge of her nose
and sighed.  "Author Avatars:  I hate them."
     Just then, the front doors flew open to admit Tuxedo Chris, wild-eyed and
tuxedo in disarray, obviously having escaped the clutches of the Galaxy Police. 
"Where is my Soulstone?" he bawled.
     Misato rolled her eyes.  "You missed her.  She and her author just left.  
Just in time, too.  Another minute of those two making out and even Jotarou here
would be looking less than healthy."
     Losing heart, Chris stumbled forward and plunked himself down on the
 corner barstool. "In that case, I'll have a Light."
     "BURNING. . . MANDALA!!"
     Scattered applause came from around the room as the slightly charred self-
insertion Avatar glared at Rei, who was standing at the theatre entrance.  "Still
can't let go of a grudge, can you?" he asked sarcastically.
     "I'm working on it.  And right now, you're just working it off!"
     Misato put a bottle down in front of him.  "Both of you, quit it.  And don't
let Haruka see you tonight, Tux-boy.  She's still not happy about your little 
"suggestion" to Michiru."
     "Yeah, whatever," Chris grumbled, taking the bottlecap and sending it
spinning through the air.
     Leaving the Author Avatar to wallow in his melancholy, the club owner
stepped out from behind the bar to survey her domain.
     Other anime characters dotted the room, which was slowly filling up. 
Most of the stars of the various anime shows were returning from the semi-finals
of the Author Avatar Tournament.  Those who hadn't received invitations had
availed themselves of Misato's big-screen TV, which was now displaying the
results of the two semi matches and two grudge matches.  The betting table was
taking odds on the two finalists while paying the lucky people who had won in
the last round.
     Setsuna, Sailor Pluto, was continually being pestered about who was going
to win the belt, but the Senshi would only smile to herself and occasionally swing
her staff to clear the area around her table.
     Then _he_ showed up.
     "A round of drinks, dear bartender!  We have _got_ to celebrate!"
     Calmly, Jotarou folded his arms and made no movement for any glasses.
"Misato, shall I take out the trash?"
     Jonathan Brisby smiled his most ingratiating smile and leaned on the bartop.
"Hey, come on, big guy.  Sticks and stones, remember?"
     Jotarou angled his head.  "Sticks?  I don't need no stinkin' sticks." Behind
him, the faint outline of his "Star Platinum" Stand began to form.  Behind Brisby, the
rest of Team Foxfire shifted uneasily, preparing for a fight.
     Misato glanced over her shoulder at the tiger-demon Tora, who rose from his 
crouch in the shadows.  "Gentlemen," he snarled, "Either sit down and act civil, or
I'll be forced to eat someone.  And they'll be pancaked rather thoroughly first.  Do
I make myself clear?"
     Jotarou simply scowled, knowing that the threat was directed more at Team
Foxfire than it was at him.  Brisby, on the other hand, backed down almost immediately
and led his troupe over to a group of tables near the stage.
     Misato leaned over the bar and began stacking glasses onto a tray.  "I'll serve
them, Jotarou.  I've got a higher tolerance for Johnny boy's talk.  Besides, they do
have a right to celebrate tonight.  Kintobor's proved himself."
     "Avatars," Jotarou grumbled, "prove to be nothing but a headache.  I'm going
to go scrounge up some aspirin."  Motioning to Ayanami Rei to take over his duties,
he disappeared into the kitchen.
     As Misato made her way over to Team Foxfire, she stopped at Kodachi's 
table and collected some of the cola cans.  "You okay?"
     The raven-haired star in the Ranma cast heaved a sigh and leaned on the
empty chair beside hers.  "It's just not the same here without Jamie-sama matching
me drink for drink.  I hope he's okay."
     Misato reached over and rested a hand on her shoulder.  "Don't worry.
The Powers That Be are watching out for him."
     Kodachi nodded and drained her glass again.  "You're right.  Maybe I'll
even stop by the hospital later, take him a little something."
     Having finished her drink, she tossed a can over her shoulder, bouncing it
directly off the black-framed picture of Pat Lee that sat along the far left wall.
"*Hic.*  Bless me, I almost miss the little annoyance."
     Misato grinned.  "That's the caffeine talking.  Time to stop."
     A breeze blew across her back as someone else came into the Club.
Kodachi leaned to one side, then her eyes widened and she almost fell out of 
her chair.
     Spinning around, Misato was all set for trouble.  Her gun, which had
been tucked into her waistband, came out and pointed directly at. . . 
     Nav.
     Surprised, she checked herself and pointed the barrel at the ceiling before
putting the gun away again.  "Sorry.  But I didn't think you'd be in tonight, not
after the beating you took."
     The Avatar grinned weakly and allowed Bane to help him into a seat near
the door.  "Takes more than some freaky monkey. . . uh, whatever . . . to put me
down."  He caressed his rifle as he leaned it against the wall.  "Familiar territory does
help the healing, too."  The grin grew wider.  "And what's this I hear about Amy
and Mina actually _cheering_ for me?  They should know better than, huh?"
     Despite herself, Misato smiled back.  Nav had left his mark forever on the
fanfiction world.  And despite his homicidal tendencies, he was one _good_ MSTer.
"First drink's on the house, kid.  After that, you'd better hope you've got some
fancy medical insurance or something.  I am not going to assume any responsibility
for your health tonight."
     "As if I did earlier," he joked.  Then he growled as he caught sight of 
Tuxedo Chris with his nose in his own drink.
     Following his gaze, Misato set down the tray and placed her hands on her
hips.  "Not tonight.  If you two want to mix it up for the Moon Kingdom belt,
go ahead.  But not in my bar!  This is neutral ground."
     Nav nodded absently, then turned his glance away to talk to Bane.
     Things settled down after that.  Until the MSTers realized that they still
had nine months until their next award banquet and the competition would be
tougher.  Then the dust fairly flew.
     As the doors to the Club slammed open once again, most of the patrons 
ignored the person in the long, rain-drenched trenchcoat and fedora.  He made
it up to the bar and sat down on a high-backed stool before anyone tore their
attention away from the literary rumble and noticed him.
     Over in a corner, Kiyone, fresh from the hospital and Jamie Jeans' bedside,
muttered a curse and shot to her feet.  Mihoshi and Nakago looked strangely at her,
but both shivered as they sensed the same thing.
     Rei placed her forearm on the bar and peered under the shadowy brim. "Can
I help you?"
     "No, my dear."  The voice was low, almost soothing.  "In fact, I doubt any
of you could help me."  Then he paused.  Twirling around on the stool, he leaned
back to face Kiyone, who had her blaster out and pointed unwaveringly at his head.
"Detective Kiyone," he stated, folding his hands over his stomach, "A little jumpy
tonight, aren't we?"
     "Drop the act _and_ the disguise," Kiyone growled, not taking her eyes off him.
     The figure hesitated again, but got off the stool.  "There is very precious little
privacy around here."
     The trenchcoat and hat swirled into the air.
     Nav lunged for his rifle, injuries forgotten.  He hit the floor rolling and came 
up on one knee, the crosshairs centred on the figure's temple.
     Team Foxfire produced an astonishing array of weaponry.  Mech Tail and
Edward quickly tossed hand-blasters to some of the Scouts while Kintobor sighted
down his Prism Rifle.  With his other hand, he waved for his group to fan out.
     All over the bar, the sound of swords drawn from scabbards shrieked out.
     The doors to the theatre exploded outwards in smoke and debris as Ryoko,
Washu, and Shampoo charged out.  At the same time, the "Star Platinum" shot out
from the kitchen with Jotarou close behind.
     In the midst of all the commotion, the rising hum of ki energy could be heard.

     Samantha Jones smiled and held up her hands, palms out.  "Nice to see you 
guys, too."
     Twin roses thudded into the bar, one on either side of her body.
     Akeya stepped forward, royal robes swirling, and spat at Samantha's feet. 
"Save it.  How _dare_ you show your face here after tonight!"
     Mihoshi, dropping her ditzy attitude, peered intently into her former friend's
eyes and saw something she didn't like.  "Pippkin," she snarled.
     Samantha's face flickered and twisted itself into a sneer.  "I _had_ expected
a bit more hospitality than this."  Her voice was still normal, but the words were
definitely not hers.  Somewhere, the demented rabbit, Pippkin, was still exerting
his control over her.  He had taken possession of her body to use as a host while
he played his evil mind games in the Avatar Arena.
     A-ko lunged forward in sheer fury, only to be restrained by Nuriko and
Megane 6.7.  "WHERE IS SHE?" she bellowed.
     Ignoring her, Samantha looked over the entire bar, at each gun pointed at her
head, at each swordpoint aimed at her, at every energy blast just waiting for her to 
make a wrong move.  "You are all so pitiful," she scowled, "Look at you.  Do any
of you honestly think that you would do _me_ any damage if you attacked?  You
would damage the body, perhaps, but I don't suppose anyone here _really_ cares
what happens to poor Samantha, after all the torture she already suffered with you!"
     Casually, she strolled forward, brushing aside a sword here, a clenched fist
there.  No one made any move to stop her, afraid for Samantha's health.
     She walked up to a table right in front of a speaker by the stage and sat down,
putting her feet up on the table lazily.  "I bring a message for all the Author Avatars
and other fanfiction characters here: You will all surrender your wills to me before this
tournament is over.  I mean to rule this puny little multiverse and all the hellish little
inhabitants in it and this Tournament is the first step in doing that.  Once you crown me
AAA champion, it will just be the beginning!"
     Foxfire snorted and twitched his rifle.  "And if we refuse?"
     "Well, in that case, I'll be direct."  Samantha glanced up onto the stage where
Michiru had been preparing her violin for a set with some of the Seiryuu Seishi.  The
aquamarine-haired girl held her instrument in one hand and her Deep Aqua Mirror in
the other.
     Moving with blinding speed, the Pippkin-controlled girl seized a glass of water
off the table and tossed its contents over both Michiru and her plugged-in violin.
     With a horrid crackling and sizzling, the wet plug began sparking, filling Michiru 
with an electrical charge.  A choking scream erupted from the girl's lungs as the current
ran through her body, throwing her backwards into the rest of the instruments.
     Samantha smiled and threw the glass away, shattering Pat Lee's picture. "I will
not be happy."
     She got back to her feet and headed for the door.  "See you in the finals, boys."
Then she turned back and looked over at Haruka and the other Senshi as they tried to
revive Michiru.  She paused for a second and opened her mouth, but nothing else.  With
a shrug, she shoved the outer doors open and vanished into the rain again.

- - -

     Pippkin is from one of David Gonterman's series, I believe.  He can keep the
psycho rabbit.  I'm a Haruka & Michiru fan myself and I hated doing that to Neptune,
but she's one of the innocents in this demented AAA multiverse.  Thanks to Greenbeans,
Jamie Jeans, and the members of SVAM.

                              Nightbreak