Notes, Dedications, and Nightbreak's Assorted Ramblings. [2]

     These'll be brief, folks.  Club Anipike grew out of a couple of silly lines I penned a few
weeks ago.  One never knows who'll drop by next or what's on tap at the bar for anime and
fanfic characters.
     Thanks go to all the folks at Tenchi's Vault of Anime MSTings, of which I am a proud
member.  To Jamie Jeans who borrowed this little idea to use as his new MSTing format.  All
the best of luck to him.  And to Greenbeans, the author of the "College Life" series, starring
Haruka and Michiru of "Sailor Moon".  Part fifteen came from this.  And I return the favour once
again.
     Enjoy, anime lovers.  Enjoy, fanboys.  And enjoy, my friends.

     Oh, yeah.  Every character mentioned herein belongs to their creator.  Samantha Jones
belongs to Jamie Jeans, Tuxedo Chris belongs to Chris Cadwell (hope I spelled that right), and
Pat Lee belongs to. . . whoever.  Any other self-insertion characters belong to their authors.  "It's
three in the morning, do you know where your writing characters are?"
     The name Anipike belongs to the owners of the Anime Turnpike.  I use it without their
permission, but I figure it's common domain.


                         CLUB ANIPIKE
- - - - 
Part 3:
- - - - 

     "LEKKA. . . SHIEEN!"
     Flames shot out the windows of Club Anipike as a black-haired girl in a red sailor fuku
tumbled out the front door.
     She slid to a halt, her red pumps somehow withstanding the pressure of skidding on the
gravel and dirt.
     "Oh, is that all you've got?" she growled, "Well, eat this!  FIRE. . . STORM!!"  A blast
of fire shot from her fingers back into the converted warehouse.
     A figure stepped into the doorway.  His long, blue coat blew back in a sudden breeze, as
did his orange hair.
     "Is that all _you've_ got?" he smirked.  With a flick of his wrist, he spread an iron fan. 
"I'll show you who's got the better fire!"
     "Hey, Tasuki!" came a yell from inside, "Don't let the girl put out your pilot light!"
     "Shaddap, Monster-chan!"
     Back inside, Nuriko leaned back in his chair and let Minako pour him another drink. 
"Tamahome, aren't you going to give Tasuki a hand?"
     "Me?  Nah.  Ol' Hammer can handle himself." the other Seishi said, running a hand
through his own shock of blue hair.  "Besides, I helped him last time he picked on a North
American dub."
     "Um, that's not the North American Raye." pointed out Minako, "That's _our_ Rei."
     Tamahome sat stock-still for a second, then his "ogre" character blazed on his forehead as he
shot out of his seat.  "Tasuki, hold it!  She's one of ours!" he called, running outside.
     "LEKKA. . . ."
     "Oh _no_!"
     "SHIIIIIEEEN!"
     *WHOOSH!*
     "AIEE!  You baka, you fried me!"
     "Oh sorry, Tama.  Were you standing there?"
     "Oh, you. . . come here."
     Nuriko grinned and looked at the girls gathered around him as the sounds of violence
outside grew louder.  "They're silly, but I think they really do like each other.  Now, who wants
to go out with me on Monday evening, hmm?"     
     In another corner, Tora, who was a demon that looked like an overgrown tiger, was busy
scoffing down a pile of hamburgers.  People had yet to write any fanfics about him, but his
series of "Ushio & Tora" had yet to finish.  All the work made him hungry, though.
     Reaching down to unwrap another burger, Tora vaguely heard something squawk.  Lifting
his paw up, he saw that Chibi-chibi was hanging onto one toe.
     "Now, what are you doing here, Chibi?" he asked.
     "Chibi-chibi."
     Tora eyed the reddish-haired annoyance for a second, then quickly glanced around the
room.  Seeing that no one was watching, he opened his jaws, flicked his paw, and swallowed.
     Elsewhere in the club, one of the self-insertion characters created by countless fanfic
authors seated himself at the bar.  "Barkeep, give me drink." he announced.
     From an opening in the floor behind the bar, Jotarou Joestar of "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure"
poked his head up.  "Hey, godboy.  It's one thing to be wise and all-knowing in your fanfics, but
don't rip off good lines from Spider Robinson stories.  That's just low."  He heaved himself up and
closed the trap door, picking up his cap from the bartop and cramming it over his head.  The
heavy chain dangling from his collar clinked loudly.  "Now, having said that, what can I get you?"
     Stunned, the fanboy blinked a couple of times."Ummm, whatever you recommend will be
fine."
     "Excellent decision."  Without either of them moving a muscle, a stone beer bottle and
glass appeared in between them, complete with a cocktail napkin and a dish of peanuts.
     Just over Jotarou's head, his Star Platinum stand ghosted back into invisibility after doing
its task.  
     "ACK!  What was. . .?"
     Jotarou leaned his forearm on the bar, causing the wood to creak in protest.  "What's the
matter?  Wrong brand?"
     "NO!" he nearly shouted, wide-eyed.  "Uh, nothing's wrong, thanks!  I. . . I. . . thanks for
the beer!"  Tossing some change on the bar, he picked up his drink and scurried off into the
crowd again.
     From behind Jotarou came a small laugh.  "It's bad for business when you do that, JoJo. 
Fanboys have money and it's hard to get them to spend it on anything else besides anime tapes
and Internet connection fees.  You know that, though."
     He didn't turn around.  "I'm not sorry, Misato-san.  Self-insertion characters somehow
seem more annoying in person than in their fanfics.  Well, most of them."
     "Oh, have you found one that you can actually stand?  Guy or girl?"
     Jotarou tugged on the brim of his cap again.  "Sorry.  Akane and C-ko need my help in the
kitchen."  With a swirl of his coat, he brushed by her and pushed through the double doors.
     Misato grinned and poured herself a drink of her own.  In between the "Neon Genesis
Evangelion" movie and a few fanfics, she had managed to raise the anime-only club into a
profitable business.  It gave the characters somewhere to spend their money from fanfic work
and a chance to mingle with those of their own profession.
     Speaking of fanfics. . . .  Misato realized that it was Friday night.  Soon she would have to
get out the projector and begin that week's showing.  Hopefully, someone had either recently
finished or found a new target for the crowd.
     Every week, some of the characters would bring in some of the torture that fanfic authors
had submitted them to.  The Sailor Moon bunches in particular, both from Japan and North
America, seemed to have a never-ending supply of bad fanfics they had been forced to appear in. 
But the crowd would all sit in front of the theatre stage and offer their "opinions" on the work. 
Most of it was outright heckling, which Misato encouraged.  What she didn't encourage was ki
blasts, fighting, or humour that was a tad too perverted.  People who flouted these rules were
jumped by whoever was nearby.  Usually everyone played fair and a good time was had by all,
despite the pain of bad fanfiction.
     Spying Sailor Mars near the doorway, she wandered over.
     "Rei, are you girls providing the fanfic for tonight?" she asked quietly.
     Mars looked blank for a second, then nodded.  "They're short, so we brought two.  I think
the North American dubs brought one as well."
     "Wonderful.  Triple feature tonight, then.  That should please some people."
     "Mostly fanboys, I'll bet." 
     Misato grinned.  "True.  Would you mind?"
     "Of course.  And I'll tell Tasuki and Tamahome to come in, as well."
     Going back to her bar, Misato jumped up onto the top, giving Tuxedo Chris a scare and
knocking him back off his bar stool.  "All right, everyone!  It's time!  Get your seats ready!"
     "What's showing tonight?" called a voice which sounded like Captain Justi Taylor's.
     "Two or three Sailor Moon fanfics!  Short ones, so the pain only comes in small doses." 
A small cheer went up.  "Lights off in five minutes!"
     As everyone jockeyed for position in front of the big screen being lowered from the stage,
Usagi's voice was heard.  "Hey, has anyone seen Chibi-chibi?"
     Over in the corner, Tora pounded his chest and coughed a couple of times.  An orange
hairball, part of which looked suspiciously like a red/orange wig, bounced among the used
hamburger wrappers.

- - - -
Part 4:
- - - - 
     The place was busy.  Akane and C-ko had to draft Miaka's help in the kitchen just to
handle the demand for meals.  The Seiryuu Seishi had brought their instruments with them and
Club Anipike was rocking on its foundations to the sound of the "Seiryuu Counterattack."  Many
people were on the dance floor and Jotarou and "Evangelion"'s Rei danced as they served behind
the bar.
     Rei spun gracefully and tossed a pitcher down to Kusanagi of "BlueSeed" at the other end
of the bar.  Her short blue hair was damp as she had recently gotten off fanfic duty, surviving yet
another pounding at the hands of author-directed Angels.  The smell of burnt wiring and liquid
oxygen of the Evas still hung around her, but it was fading.
     Over by the group of beanbag chairs, Haruka, Michiru, and Makoto were sharing a basket
of fried chicken as they relaxed from the most recent chapter of "College Life."
     Haruka rubbed her hands briskly over the heater that she had borrowed from Misato. 
"Will I ever get this cold out of my bones?" she asked, teeth still chattering.
     Makoto laughed, something she hadn't done in a while.  "Haruka-san, it's April out there! 
It's _warm_ today!"
     "That's very well for you to say." Haruka grumbled, "_You_ got to spend the whole story
indoors over a warm stove.  Some of us were expected to frolic in the snow.  You know, build
*snow*men, have *snow*ball fights, kick *snow* out of trees."
     Michiru smiled mischievously.  "Some of us also remembered to wear gloves and warmer
coats half the time." she reminded her partner.
     Both she and Makoto laughed at Haruka's irritated look.
     "I really have to thank you two for talking Greenbeans into adding me for that episode."
Makoto said, pulling a french fry out of the basket.  "That was so much fun working with those
people!  It's too bad they can't join us in here."
     Just then, Misato happened by and overheard her.  "Oh, your friend is welcome here. 
She's a self-insertion character, right?  I let people like Pat Lee and Samantha Jones in, so
someone like this Beans person is more than welcome."
     Michiru smiled again.  "She and the author started out as one, but they have gone their
own ways.  Beans the characters is independent of Greenbeans the author."
     Misato paused to mull that over.  "Really?  So, how about we have an Authors' Night?
_Good_ authors, mind you.  I don't want Oscar setting foot over my threshold.  Artemis required
months of counselling.  As for Luna and Felicia. . . ."  She shuddered.
     "He's dead, Misa-san." Makoto pointed out.  "For all intents and purposes, Oscar is dead.  I
have the date circled on my calendar."
     "Oh, right.  Well, Haruka. . . Michiru, feel free to bring your friend Beans in any time." 
Misato continued her rounds, making sure her customers were happy.
     Makoto snuggled deeper into her beanbag and sighed in contentment.  "Ah, a good cameo
with a pleasant author and good friends.  And pretty decent pay, too.  What more could someone
want?"
     Then Haruka nudged Michiru.  "Hey, you know what would be fun?  I remember Beans
bringing it up earlier in the fic today.  She mentioned playing it as a kind of joke.  And I
told her. . ."  She leaned over and whispered something into her partner's ear.
     Michiru stifled a giggle.  "How did they react?"
     Haruka grinned wickedly.  "How do you think?  I got *the look*.  So, I know Misato's
got one here somewhere.  Shall we see about borrowing it?"
     "Of course.  I'll go and change into something more suitable.  Mako-chan, if you will
excuse us. . . ?"
     Makoto smiled.  Beans had filled her in on the joke earlier.  She'd give a lot to be a fly on
the wall when the two Outer Senshi started playing Twister.  Maybe they'd let some of the others
join in later.

     At the same time out in the parking lot, Kunou Tatewaki was changing the tire on Washu's
pickup truck.  His drinking buddy, Sasuke, was holding the jack steady while Kunou rapped on
the rusty bolts with his bokken.
     The pink haired genius grinned.  "Thanks for the help, guys.  I'm not really a scientist, you
know.  I just play one in my anime."
     "It's no problem, Washu." Kunou grunted, "Off, you fiend of iron and oxides, off!!"
     "Yep," she continued, "That's the last time I race Kasumi off-road.  I still don't think the
steering is working right, either."
     "Well, if it continues, you should take it down to Malachite's Auto Shop." said Kunou,
knocking the last nut off and tossing his bokken down.  "He did some rather nice work on my
car recently."
     With Sasuke's help, (and some grease borrowed from one of the Dominion Tank Police
tanks), Kunou quickly wrestled the spare on and fastened it tightly.  Standing up, he brushed his
hands off on his sweater.  Then he grinned, picked up his bokken, and struck a pose.
     "As good as new, thanks to the Blue Thunder of. . ." *CRUNCH!*
     Kunou Tatewaki vanished beneath the foot of a large red Evangelion mechanoid.
     Washu winced.  "Misato should really have made a separate parking lot for mechs." she
murmured.  Then she reached behind her driver's seat and produced a megaphone.  "HEY,
ASUKA!" she bellowed, "You're standing on Kunou again!"
     The Eva looked down, then its controller seemed to understand and it lifted a foot to
reveal a pancaked Blue Thunder of Anime Fanfiction.
     Unsheathing a dagger from its leg holster, Asuka's Eva slipped the flat of the blade
beneath its foot and peeled Kunou off, depositing him carefully on the ground.
     Lying on the gravel, Kunou groggily lifted his head.  "That. . . didn't. . . hurt." *THUD!*
     From high above, a red-haired girl in a skin-tight bodysuit leapt out of the Eva and slid
down the side to the ground.  "Kunou-chan!  Are you all right?"
     "Am I all right?  Hah!  My dear Asuka, you know it will take more than that to damage
me, the Blue. . . " *CRUNCH!*
     Another Eva, this one purple, had stepped over the Anime Turnpike and joined its comrade.
     "Oh dear." Asuka sighed.  "I forgot about Shinji.  SHINJI!!  Get off my Kunou-chan!"
     From beneath the Eva came a deep sigh.  "Asuka-chan, if you could yell perhaps a little
quieter?  I believe both my eardrums are still functioning, though the rest of me is flattened."
     Ignoring him, Asuka reared back and kicked the Eva's ankle.  "Shinji!  Move that scrap
heap you call an Eva!"
     Slowly, the mech moved off to park beside Rei's Eva.  Thus Kunou Tatewaki was
revealed at the center of a rather large footprint, looked more than a little dazed.
     "Kunou-chan!  Speak to me!" Asuka cried, lifting him up by the shoulders and hugging him.
     Kunou's eyes uncrossed briefly.  "I've been stomped on, peeled off, stepped on again. . .
and she wants me to chitchat?"
     Shinji appeared beside them, still in his piloting outfit.  "Is he all right?"
     "I'm fine, thank you, little pig-tailed girl." the Blue Thunder answered, staring off into space.    
     The two Eva pilots looked at each other.  "We'd better take him inside."
     Picking him up, they each put an arm over their shoulders and helped Kunou into the bar.
     Washu looked over at Sasuke, who shrugged, then she reached into the cab of her pickup
and took out a stack of paper.  "We should go in, too.  Misato wanted me to find her the fanfic
for tonight.  Of course, since I am the greatest fanfic reviewer in the universe. . . " She laughed
and tucked the stack beneath one arm, then walked in the doorway.  "Afternoon, everybody!"
     "WASHU!"

- - - 

