Aa! Megami-sensei!

by Peter Ward

Episode 1:  Changes in the Air


The snow fell gently on a certain temple in Japan during a February morning.  
At the temple, the current occupants were engaged in various projects, 
enjoying the peaceful winter day...

BOOOOOM!!!!

"Urd!!!!"

In what served as the garage at the temple were the smoking ruins of a go-
cart, the latest victim of Urd's meddling.  Urd herself stood to the side as 
her sisters berated her, while Keiichi merely sat on some steps, looking 
dejectedly at the fried go-cart.

"Urd, what did you think you were doing there?  Now poor Keiichi has to start 
over again on that go-cart so that it'll be ready for this weekend's race!"

"It's not my fault, Belldandy!" Urd retorted. "It gets so boring here with 
you guys getting so domestic!  All I wanted to do was help out around here 
some, and I figured that the go-cart needed some modifications to the design, 
that's all!"

"Oh, you modified it all right, sis," Skuld cut in, "now it's a heap of 
scrap metal because you could never control your powers properly!  You 
always go too far, never show any restraint, you're always pushy..."

"Enough, Skuld." Belldandy said quietly, putting a hand on her younger 
sister's shoulder.  "Urd, maybe you really should find something to do to 
keep you busy and not get bored.  Nekomi Tech's got some clubs there that you 
can join, or you can find a part-time job or something..."

"That's a thought, Belldandy," Keiichi chimed in, finally looking up from 
the ruined go-cart.  "We can always use the extra income, with four mouths 
to feed here at least.  Five, if you count my sister coming here all the 
time!  Not to mention supplies for classes, the Motor Club..."

"Stuff that you keep blowing up or otherwise wasting, Urd!"  Skuld 
interjected.

"What?!?  Me, a goddess, get a job??  I shouldn't have to bother with such 
mundane chores!" Urd shouted out.

"Excuse me, but who is it that got herself banned from the heavens about 
half a year ago?  And who is it that got her goddess license reinstated 
this month?" Skuld replied.

"You should talk, you little brat!  You're grounded here as well!  Well, 
fine!  We'll see who's right about me needing a job on the mortal plane!"  
And with that, Urd stormed off to her room, grabbing the morning paper on 
the way.

"I hope she understands that this is for her own good.  It really wasn't 
exactly how I hoped it would go over..." Belldandy said quietly after a long 
pause.

"I'm sure that things will work out all right, Belldandy!  They usually do 
around here, even when she's like this." Keiichi replied as he got up and 
went to her side.

"'Get a job' they say.  Well, we'll see just how good I am about getting a 
job!  Lessee..." Urd muttered as she stormed into her room.  She sat down to 
flip through the want ads she grabbed on the way in.  "Hostess...hmmmm....
Office Lady, nope!  Stewardess...nice outfits, but I can't keep an eye on 
Belldandy and Keiichi...Hmmm?"

Urd's eyebrows perked up.

"'Teacher wanted...high school in need of  a chemistry teacher...ability to 
discipline students a plus.  Send resumes to Principal Kuno at Furinkan High 
School.'  Well, this sounds interesting.  I certainly have some skill with 
that, even if it's mainly with potions.  Being able to play cupid to those 
students is certainly a plus.  Wonder why discipline is such a major point 
though?  Oh, well, I can certainly handle any student that acts up in class!  
Right!  This is a job for...the Great Goddess Urd!!"

Urd sat there laughing with glee for a few minutes, then looked around and 
found a few blank pieces of paper lying around.

"Now I have to come up with a resume and credentials so I can get the job.  
That's all right, I can forge them easily!"

		Winds of time, spirit of knowledge,
		Lend thy aid to the greatest of Norns!
		Give me documents of credibility
		And signs of wisdom,
		So that mortal youth
		Can benefit from my ability!

With that, wisps of smoke swirled around the floating pages, leaving inkmarks 
along their path.  After a few seconds, the smoke dissipated and the pages 
floated back down to the table top in a neat stack.  Urd picked them up and 
inspected her handiwork.

"All right!  Not bad, if I do say so myself!  Now to send them in the mail 
and land that job!"  Urd said as she walked off into the hallway.

A few weeks later,  Urd went to Furinkan High for her interview.  Looking 
over the campus, she got the impression that it was just like any other high 
school as she made her way to the principal's office.

"Aloha, Miss Urd!  Welcome to Furinkan High School!" Principal Kuno nearly 
shouted as he greeted Urd.  "By the way, is that your family name, or your 
given name?"

"It's my name" Urd simply replied.

The principal only laughed loudly in return.  "I've been going over your 
credentials and resume, and I'm verrry impressed with what I see!  You taught 
at Yggdrasil High School before moving to Japan, and not only are skilled 
with chemistry, but also bio-sciences, computer sciences, and literature.  
Sounds like we can use you to fill in for other classes as well whenever a 
teacher calls in sick or something like that.  However, there remains the 
question of being able to enforce discipline around here, which is very 
important!  Just how do you propose that you'll be able to keep control of 
things?  Mind you, it takes a lot to keep this student body in line!"

A few seconds later, a bright flash of light could be seen from outside the 
office window, follwed by some smoke...

"How's that for a demonstration, principal Kuno?"  Urd said with a smile.

"Eheheh...well...it shows promise, more than the other candidates" the now 
soot-covered principal said weakly.  "All right, you've got the job!  It 
starts in April, so you have a couple of months to prepare!  Have a good 
winter and I'll see you for your orientation in March!"

"Thank you for your time, principal, and sorry for the mess!" Urd replied, 
stifling a giggle.

Stepping outside the office, Urd leaned back against the wall out of sight 
and let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, I got the job, that'll show Keiichi and my sisters.  But I wonder 
who's the biggest problem...the supposed problem students, or the principal 
himself?  What was with that getup anyway?  A loud Hawaiian shirt and lei?  
Not to mention those flowers in his hair.  Geez...he looked like some 
tourist or something.  Maybe he was planning to go on vacation after the 
interview and he dresses normally during the regular year or something?  Who 
knows?"

With that, Urd walked down the hallway on her way out.

It was about that time that a top-secret meeting has concluded in the 
Secretary General's private office at UN Headquarters in New York.  Some 
odd-shaped figures disappeared in a flash of light, leaving the Secretary 
General and representatives from the nations on the Security Council in the 
room.

"Well, that's that." The Secretary General said after a long pause.  "Now we 
face the task of telling the people of earth that they're now citizens of 
the Dadourunrun Empire and that they'll have some rather unusual next door 
neighbors, to say the least."

The US representative, concluding a quick phone conversation, walked up and 
added "I was in touch with the President, and the US government will make 
the transition as smooth as possible.  He also said that they're dismantling 
the X-Files project and declassifying everything related to UFOs over time.  
Of course, what little our guests revealed blew away years of research that 
we had."

"Da.  Our research was also outclassed by what our guests had to show." The 
Russian representative confirmed.  "What I want to know is why they were 
willing to give us all their technology for the promise that we'll help them 
set up shopping malls, movie theaters, and fast food restaurants..."

"Yes...a rather interesting deal there..." The Chinese representative said 
quietly.  "One that bears some study.  We may have some sort of phenomenon 
that we, as the people of earth, might be able to exploit..."

Back at the temple...

"Hey guys!  I got the job!"

Keiichi and Belldandy stepped out into the entryway at the sound of Urd's 
cheerful voice, with Skuld tagging along with a suspicious look on her face.

"That's great!" Belldandy exclaimed.  "I knew you could do it!  What kind of 
job did you get?"

"Get this, guys...this April, I'm starting the job as a chemistry teacher at 
one of the local high schools!  It'll be great, won't it?"

"Wait a second!" Skuld interrupted. "It's too early for an April Fool's joke!  
Really, what kind of job did you get, hmmmm, sis?"

"I told you, you little brat!  I'm the new chemistry teacher at Furinkan High 
School.  What?  You don't believe me?"  Urd asked, trying not to get 
completely annoyed by Skuld.

"Urd, since when have you been a teacher?  Don't you need credentials and a 
degree, or something?" Belldandy asked in return, trying to keep things 
peaceful instead of degenerating into yet another spat between her sisters.

"Well, um, I was able to come up with those things easily!  Besides, I know 
stuff that human teachers can't possibly imagine!  I'd be perfect for the 
job!"

"Aha!  I knew it...you forged those credentials, didn't you?!" Skuld 
exclaimed.

"Well, you really didn't expect me to sit through years of unnecessary 
training, did you?" Urd growled at Skuld.

Keiichi, gaining an interest in finding a safe spot while the goddesses 
argued, stepped back into the living room, where the TV was still going.  As 
he was settling down to watch whatever was on in safety, the program was 
interruped by a special news report.  Deciding this was more important than 
another goddess squabble, Keiichi stepped back into the hallway.

"Hey, break it up!  There's something coming on TV...some sort of news 
flash!"

All three sisters dropped their arguing and followed Keiichi into the living 
room and gathered around the TV.

"We interrupt this program for a special bulletin!  Reporting live from UN 
Headquarters in New York City is Kanzaki Hibiki."

"Thank you!  A short while ago, the Secretary General of the UN called an 
emergency session to start in a few minutes, which was open to the world 
press.  Details were not given as to the nature of this meeting, except that 
it was of ultimate importance to the human race.  As you can see, we are in a 
gallery overlooking the chamber and all of the represenatives are assembled.  
The Secretary General is making his way to the podium to address the 
gathering..."

A couple of months later, another school year started at Furinkan High 
School.  While the definition of "normal" was debateable on this campus, 
things were unusual from the start this year.  While foreign exchange 
students were long-ago accepted, now there were some really odd beings among 
the student body.  Aliens, having moved to earth in the previous two months, 
were among the new students this year.  Some looked just like humans, with 
the exception of odd hair colors or other details.  The student body could 
deal with that since Shampoo was around at times.  Some, however, were far 
from looking human and drew some stares.

Up in the teacher's lounge, Urd stood looking out the window at the students 
in the courtyard coming for the first day of school.

"Well, things do seem to be normal around here, even with the aliens moving 
in on this planet..." Urd said quietly to herself.  "I'll admit, things did 
seem a bit hairy when they told us about them, but they seem to be fitting 
in just fine.  Actually, the only really unusual thing I've seen around here 
so far is that damn principal.  No wonder there's a discipline problem, what 
with the way he dresses.  I simply can't believe that there *is* a shirt 
louder than the one he wore to the interview, but I guess he proved that it 
is possible..."

A shout from the courtyard broke her train of thought.

"Saotome, you wretch!!!"

"Aw, go stuff it Kuno!"

Urd snapped to attention as two boys out of uniform ran around in the crowd 
below.  One, in a kendo uniform, was chasing the other boy in chinese-style 
clothing and pony-tail with a boken.  The pony-tailed boy leaped out of the 
way as a swing from the boken actually managed to bring down one of the 
trees.

"Eh?  Did one of them say 'Kuno'?  Isn't that the principal's name?"  Urd 
asked noone in particular.  While trying to figure things out, she was 
shoved aside as a young girl, maybe 12, with flowing brown hair and a loose 
yellow dress jumped up into the window.

"Those delinquents are at it again!  When are they ever going to learn to 
behave themselves?"  The girl shouted as she leaped out the window in a 
burst of hyperactivity.

"Wait!"  Urd shouted out after her.  "Leave this for the teachers!  And 
aren't you a little young for high school anyway?"

"Hahahaha!  I see that you met Miss Hinako!" boomed a voice behind Urd.  She 
turned around and saw that it was principal Kuno that was standing there.  
"She's the english teacher we hired last year to also deal with the 
discipline problem around here.  Watch and find out why!  Hahaha!"

"What a weirdo!" Urd thought to herself.  "First his getup, and now his 
choice of teachers...who hires a 12-year-old for a teacher anyway?  Eh?!?"

Urd stood there in amazement as Hinako ran after the two, waving around a 
5-yen coin.  The pony-tailed student ducked to the side as the boken-waving 
student got hit with a mysterious force, weakening him.  Urd watched in 
fascination as Hinako started to grow up before her eyes, like a time lapse 
film.  When it was all over, Hinako stood there in the form of a tall, very 
shapely woman; the yellow dress fitting her very tightly and almost 
revealingly.

"That'll teach you to misbehave before the start of school!" Hinako finally 
said in a deeper voice to the severely weakened student and walked back into 
the building.

"By the way, that student that she caught there is my son, Tatewaki.  He'll 
be in your first-period senior chemistry class." principal Kuno answered 
Urd's unspoken question as he stepped towards the lounge door.  "Now, 
shouldn't we go over to that class before it starts, so I can introduce you 
to your students?"

"Ummmm...yeah, right" Urd replied weakly.  To herself, she asked, "What have 
I gotten myself into here?"


Next Episode:  The First Day


All Aa! Megamisama and Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Fujishima Kosuke and 
Takahashi Rumiko, respectively.  All other characters copyright Peter Ward, 
Tim Dunn, Tim Holt, "Snafu", and Ray Yeen.

E-mail all comments, suggestions, etc. to falcon@best.com.  They're always 
welcome...even the flames to a certain extent ^^;



