Aa!  Megami-sensei!

by Peter Ward

Episode 4: Media Blitz! - Part 1



"Hmmmmm....If I move this shaft over a millimeter, that might get rid of the 
wobble...but one of the gears won't fit properly in the assembly...geez!"

Keiichi sat at the dining room table, going over a homework problem involving 
gear design.  Just as Urd started her new job that day, he started a new term 
at Nekomi Tech, and that meant homework.  He was making decent progress, but 
he felt that he would be doing better if the TV in the next room wasn't left 
on.  Keiichi sighed as he considered it a small price to pay for having Urd 
get a job.  Furinkan high school was quite a distance away from the temple, 
so Urd opted to use her teleportation via video screens to get around.

As Keiichi settled back down to his homework, the TV signal scrambled for a 
bit, then there was a flash of light from the screen.  As Keiichi looked up 
again, Urd entered the room, shouting "Tadaima!"

"Hi Urd!  How was your first day at work?"

"Aw, she probably got overwhelmed and already quit, right sis?" Skuld 
sneered, coming in from the hallway.

"You wish, brat.  I handled things just fine, thank you." Urd replied, 
remaining cheerful despite her younger sister's teasing.

"That's good to hear." Belldandy joined in, emerging from the kitchen where 
she was preparing dinner.  "So, how do you like the new job?"

"I think it's going to turn out great after all.  I'm getting along with the 
students for the most part, and I think I can handle both the principal and 
his son."

"Eh?  You mean the principal that looked like a Hawaiian tourist or 
something?" Keiichi asked, recalling what Urd told them a while back about 
her interview with principal Kuno.

"Yeah.  Turns out that's his regular wardrobe, even at school!  As bad as he 
may be, his son's even worse!  I've got him in my first-period class, and 
his mind is stuck in some samurai mode or something.  Not only that, but he 
tried to hit on me in class.  I don't blame him, of course," she said with a 
wink, "but there's something to be said about self-control."

"Look who's talking..." Skuld muttered under her breath.

"Anyway, I think I can handle them, as well as some old neighborhood pervert 
that raided the girl's locker room at the end of the day.  Nothing that a 
lightning bolt couldn't handle..."

"Isn't that overkill, even for you Urd?" Keiichi asked nervously.

"Naaa...the old goat had it coming after trying to fondle me in front of my 
students.  Besides, I saw him survive gettting thrown into a tree by one of 
those students... some super-powered alien amazon.  If he could take getting 
implanted into a tree trunk, he could survive a lightning bolt." Urd said 
with a grin.

"Are you sure it's alright to use our powers in front of so many people, 
sis?" Belldandy asked.  "After all, they may get suspicious and find out 
about our real nature."

"Naaaa.  No need to worry, Belldandy.  They think that I'm an alien since 
the aliens that came have similar, if inferior, powers to ours.  Great 
cover, ne?"

"That's a relief." Keiichi said, his mind a bit more at ease.  "You should 
still be a bit more careful, though.  Who knows what would happen if our 
secret got out..."

"I said don't worry, Keiichi!  You can trust me to be careful, right?"

"Ummmmmmm....." Keiichi replied, trying to find an easy way out of this.  He 
got lucky when the phone rang, distracting everyone while Belldandy went to 
get it.

"Hello, Morisato residence.  Urd?  Yes, she's here.  May I ask who this is?  
Oh, hello principal Kuno!  Yes, let me go get her for you.  Urd?  It's the 
principal."

Urd went over to speak on the phone while the others watched from the dining 
room.  As soon as she got off the phone, she walked over to where they were 
sitting.

"Well, my first day was a success!  That loony principal liked my work, after 
all!  He called to tell me that, as well as the fact that we've got a local 
reporter coming over tomorrow and my first-period class was picked to be the 
one covered.  This is great!"

"Sounds good.  Just be careful, okay?" Keiichi said with a nervous smile as 
he cleared off the table for a celebratory dinner.

The next morning, all was relatively quiet throughout Furinkan high.  
Students and faculty members were trickling onto the campus.

On a counter in the teacher's lounge sat a small, inactive TV set.  Instead 
of being plugged directly into the wall, it was plugged into a device barely 
recognizable as a timer, since it was a jury-rig job.  At 7:30 precisely, a 
loud click sounded from the device and the TV snapped on.  A second later, 
Urd emerged from the screen, settled herself into her new location, and 
switched the device off.

"Phew...gotta get a bigger TV for this place!  I hate teleporting though 
those small screens!  At least Skuld's timer worked...unlike some of her 
other doodads." Urd said to noone in particular as she walked over to the 
coffee maker and set it up to brew up a pot.  After a few minutes, it was 
finished and Urd poured herself a cup and walked over to the window to watch 
the students trickle in for another day of studies.

"Ahhh...guess I'm going to have to depend on this stuff while I get used to 
getting up this early in the morning." Urd thought.  "Hmmm...there's Tendo 
Nabiki now.  Quite the little businesswoman there...if she wasn't quite as 
mercenary as I could sense from her yesterday.  Oh, well, I'll just have to 
watch my step around her.  I believe that's her younger sister there...what's 
her name?  Oh, yes, Akane.  Don't have her in any of my classes, but word 
does get around this place.  Wonder who's that other girl right by her 
that's out of uniform?  Those clothes are similar to what that boy who fought 
with Tatewaki yesterday wore."

While Urd watched from the lounge, Akane and the female Ranma argued about 
what happened the previous evening.  When Happosai came home, Buffy and (to 
a lesser extent) Suzie went on a homicidal rampage throughout the Tendo home 
in an attempt to do him in once and for all.  Of course Ranma, not wanting 
to be shown up by their guests, joined in and contributed to the mess.  
Happosai barely got away, only to return after Buffy and Suzie left for the 
night.

"Honestly, Ranma, you didn't have to help them wreck the place last night!"

"Was I supposed to stand by and let them face that old pervert by 
themselves, you tomboy?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, you jerk, they didn't need any help at all!"

"Well, it still wouldn't have been right to just stand by!  Anyway, we have 
to get some hot water before class starts, thanks to that old lady again.  
Eh?"

Akane looked over to see what distracted Ranma and saw Kuno running their 
way, arms open wide, shouting, "Tendo Akane!  Pig-tailed goddess!  I love 
you both!!"

"What?  She's no goddess that I know of!" Urd said, watching the three from 
above.  Just as she got ready to go down there and stop Kuno, he got 
simultaneous kicks from Ranma and Akane and he flew several feet in the air.

Seeing that the trouble was over quickly, Urd relaxed and looked over to 
where Kuno landed.  "So, he's in love with two girls at once, huh?  I'll 
have to see what I can do about that situation..."

"Ack!  Did you make this coffee, Urd?"

Urd looked back and saw Hinako holding a cup of the coffee Urd made.  
Judging by the look on Hinako's face, she figured that she might've goofed 
in making the coffee.  Of course, seeing what looked like a 12-year-old girl 
drinking coffee nearly caused Urd to do a double-take, but she quickly 
remembered Hinako's nature and figured she'd have to get used to it.

"Ummm...was that a little too strong, Hinako?  I'm not used to making coffee 
in the morning."

"'A little too strong'?  Urd, this stuff's strong enough to wake up the dead!  
Oh, well, I can use the extra caffeine anyway, with that reporter coming to 
visit."

"That's right!  He's probably going to cover your third-period english class 
since it's my first-period chem class.  Hopefully, Kuno's not going to be 
much trouble for you, since he's already been taken care of a moment ago."

"Oh, don't worry!  I can handle that bunch!  Guess we both have to go prepare 
for our guest.  See you later!"

"Okay, and sorry about the coffee!"

As Urd and Hinako left the lounge for their respective homeroom classes, 
Akane was getting ready to pour some hot water on Ranma in a nearby 
groundskeepers' shed.  Before she could do so, the kettle seemed to go cold 
all of a sudden and some sort of energy pulsed from it.  It suddenly got 
heavier and as she dropped it on Ranma, the lid flew off and Skuld emerged 
from the kettle's opening.

"Sorry about that!" Skuld said quickly to a stunned Ranma and Akane as she 
got up and stepped out of the shed.

After a moment, Akane turned to Ranma, who was male again, and said "Ranma...
did I see what I think I saw..."

"A girl popping out of that kettle?  I'm not sure...probably another weird 
alien power or something like that."

While Akane and Ranma sat in the shed trying to figure out what they saw, 
Skuld wandered from the shed into the school building.

"Hmmm...I wonder where Urd's classroom is...guess I'll try finding the 
chemistry lab and start from there.  I just gotta find out what kind of 
school would consider hiring her, let alone actually going through it.  
They've got to be desperate or something!"

As Skuld rounded a corner, she spotted Hinako down the hallway and, not 
knowing who she was, thought that she was just one of the students.  Skuld 
contined down the hall, only to be stopped by Hinako.

"Hold it right there, young lady!  Aren't you a little young to be a student 
here?" Hinako said to Skuld.

"What about you?!  Where do you get off talking to me like that?"

"You *must* be a delinquent playing hooky and talking to your elders like 
that!  You'd better come with me if you know what's good for you!"

"'Elder'?  I'm going nowhere with you!" Skuld yelled, readying her debugging 
mallet.

"Ohhhh...I sense fighting spirit!  I see we're going to have to do this the 
hard way!" Hinako said, drawing out a 5-yen coin.

"Wait, Hinako!  That's my sister you're about to drain!" Urd was shouting as 
she rushed down the hall towards the two.  "Skuld, what in heaven's name are 
you doing here?"

"Hey, it got boring all by myself at the temple, so I decided to see for 
myself just how good a job you're doing here!" Skuld said with a hint of 
sarcasm.  "By the way, you've got a little girl here who's bossing other 
people around!  Why don't you do your job and do something about her?"

"Because, dear sister, she's a teacher here.  Skuld, meet Minomiya Hinako-
sensei.  Hinako, my younger sister Skuld.  I think you can put the coin away, 
Hinako...I'll keep an eye on my sister while she's here."

"Oh.  I suppose that's alright then.  Nice to meet you, Skuld.  Sorry about 
trying to discipline you a minute ago!"

"Yeah...right." Skuld said with skepticism as she put her mallet away.

As Hinako went her way, Skuld turned to her sister and snidely remarked, 
"Now I see how this place can hire you.  If they allow someone her age to be 
a teacher here, then their standards must certainly be low enough to let you 
teach here!"

"Enough, Skuld!" Urd hissed as she led Skuld to the chemistry lab.  "I 
didn't invite you here, so you'd better be on your best behavior, you brat!  
As for Hinako, don't underestimate her.  She may look your age, but she's 
got this aura drain that has to be seen.  I don't know what the effect would 
be on goddesses like us, but I don't want you to make her try, understand?"

"Alright, sis.  I'll stay out of trouble.  You'd probably make enough of it 
for the both of us, anyway."

"I said enough." Urd whispered as she opened the door to the lab.  "Listen, 
why don't you sit by the window there.  That way, you're out of everyone's 
way, got it?  I've got to get ready for class and that reporter."

While Skuld did what she was told and Urd went to the desk in front of the 
lab, the students already in the lab were forming groups of two, three, and 
even four people to a lab team. One such team was engaged in a heated 
discussion.

"I owe your family *that much*?" Buffy nearly shouted as she looked over a 
bill presented to her a second ago.

"That's right." Nabiki said matter-of-factly.  "After all, you and Suzie 
smashed several holes in the walls, uprooted a tree, messed up the 
landscaping, and broke more than a few windows trying to get Happosai last 
night.  Suzie really didn't do much damage beyond scratching up the walls 
and ceiling, so we really can't make her pay for the bulk of the damages.  
However, you did sign the contract for training at the dojo, and part of 
that did stipulate terms for damage compesation..."

"Alright, already...I'll pay up as soon as I can get the money from my folks 
back home on Hakane.  Why didn't you tell me that the old pervert lived with 
you guys as well?"

"Sorry about that.  It's not as if we invited him to live with us.  He 
trained both daddy and uncle Saotome years ago, so he started leeching 
off of us a while back after breaking out of a sealed cave.  We've been 
trying all this time to find a way of dealing with him, but no luck so far."

"Hmph.  Perhaps I could prove my worthiness to Tendo Akane by vanquishing 
this reprobate as well as the insufferable Saotome Ranma."

"Oh, be quiet, Kuno." an irritated Suzie cut in.  "Who invited you to be on 
this lab team anyway?"

"It'll be alright, Suzie." Nabiki said.  "By the way, Kuno, you never did 
get back to me about the matter of these pictures." she continued while 
waving some swimsuit photos of Akane and female Ranma in front of him.

"Nabiki!  Aren't those pictures of Ranma and your sister!  What do you think 
you're doing?!" Buffy said in shock.

"Don't worry." Nabiki whispered back.  "He may be an idiot, but at least 
he's a steady income source."  As she was whispering to Buffy, Kuno passed 
a large wad of yen to her in exchange for the photos.

"Um, Nabiki, has anyone ever told you that you seem a bit obsessed with 
money?" Suzie whispered.

"What's wrong with making a little cash on the side?" Nabiki replied.  
"Don't forget, I have a quite happy customer here," indicating Kuno, "so 
what's the problem?"

The three girls continued their discussion over family values versus 
monetary values while Kuno just sat there obsessing over his latest 
acquisitions from Nabiki.  A few minutes later, it was time for class to 
start and Urd just started in apparently without taking roll.  Little did 
anyone know that Urd took roll by doing a quick mental scan throughout 
campus and the surrounding neighborhoods.  She already knew who was on time 
and who'd be late and/or absent that day.

"Okay, students, we've a full day ahead of us, so let's get started." Urd 
was saying as she went around the room, setting worksheets down on the 
various lab tables.  "First off, we're going to start the day off with some 
simple experiments based on my lecture on the various reactions substances 
have to one another.  Some will be rather simple, but some will be *quite* 
interesting, to say the least.

"Second, we're going to have a special guest in a few minutes.  It seems 
that the local news media wants to do a story on how humans and aliens, such 
as yourselves, get along in school.  So you guys are going to have a reporter 
hang around for today.  Barring any visits by neighborhood perverts or 
weirdos, I think you guys can show this guy a class act, ne?"

It was at this moment that Minoru and Tetsuo rushed into the lab room late.  
"Guys, I think you know the drill." Urd called out.  "Out into the hallway.  
And Minoru, having your car break down on you is no excuse for tardiness."

"How'd she know?" Minoru wondered as he grabbed a pair of buckets and filled 
them with water.

"I dunno, buddy." Tetsuo answered as he did the same thing.  "After seeing 
her fry the old goat yesterday, I wouldn't be suprised if it was another 
power of hers.  Oh, well...maybe Mina from the class next door might pass by 
and I can ask her out."

"Forget it.  After that one date you two had a few weeks back, I'm suprised 
she didn't kill you on the spot.  Then again, I know you well enough that 
being slapped silly like that wouldn't stop you from trying again." Minoru 
said as they walked out into the hall.  As they walked out, principal Kuno 
walked in followed by a young man with unruly brown hair and a small, 
handheld video camera, and a young woman with darker, neater hair and a 
larger video camera.

"Hello everybody!" the principal boomed.  "As Urd-sensei probably told you, 
we have some guests with us today!  They come from the Tokyo offices of CNN 
and are here to do a story on you, so I want you to give them your 
cooperation!  And here they are!"

As principal Kuno made a grand sweep with his right arm, the young man 
stepped forward, then turned around to face the girl.  "This is Kanzaki 
Hibiki for CNN Tokyo!  We're here at Furinkan high school in the Nerima 
district of Tokyo to see just how human students are getting along with 
their new friends from the stars, and vice versa!"

"Gee, does that sound corny or what?" Mariko whispered to her teammates, 
Noriko and Rika Tanaka.

"Shush!" Noriko whispered back.  "You want that to end up on the final 
broadcast or what?"

"Don't worry about it.  They'll just edit it out or soemthing.  Now be quiet 
you two." Rika whispered in return.

Hibiki continued on, not taking notice of the three whispering.  "We'll be 
spending the entire school day with one of the senior classes here as they 
start the day with chemistry experiments.  And here is their chemistry 
teacher, Urd-sensei.  Tell us what your impressions are of the new students 
and how everyone's getting along."

"Why, thank you, Hibiki.  As you can see, they're getting along quite well 
here in class.  In fact, I got to observe just how well they're able to 
cooperate yesterday, but I don't think I need to go into the details at this 
moment." Urd said, winking to her students off-camera.  "Anyway, I'm sure 
that they'll cooperate as you interview them.  After all, it isn't every day 
that high school students get interviewed by a reporter of your stature, ne?"

"Ummm...right!" a blushing Hibiki responded.  "You're certainly not without 
charm, Urd-sensei.  I'd like to interview you some more later today.  For 
now, though, I'll just wander around the class and ask the students some 
questions at random.  I promise I won't disrupt your lessons."

"Go right ahead!  We're just doing some introductory experiments today, so 
there's not much to ruin!  Class, the instructions are in those packets I 
passed out, but I'll be ready to take any questions you may have.  Oh, 
Hibiki, that doesn't include asking me out!  Nice thought, though!"

"Wha..wha...wha...is she a mindreader or something?"  Hibiki said in shock 
as he approached one of the tables.

"Get used to it, mister."  Mackie replied from that table.  "She already 
caught us with that kind of thinking yesterday, so don't feel too bad!"

"Hibiki," whispered the assistant, Nakajima Aya, "when are you going to 
learn?  We got saddled with this assignment because of your getting involved 
with a member of the Marduk diplomatic party a month back!  You want us to 
wind up covering the Flower Festival instead?"

"Alright, already.  I know what I'm doing!  Now be quiet, Aya."  Turning to 
Mackie and Dozul at the table, he spoke up some more as Aya continued taping.   
"Here, we have a couple of our new young ambassadors from the stars.  Could 
you please introduce ourselves to the audience?" 

"Hi there, I'm Dozul Hegaba from Mohad"

"And I'm RXF-95, but you folks out there can call me 'Mackie'!"

"Great!  Our audience would certainly like to know what you think of our 
planet!  Could you please share your impressions with us?"

"Hey, I love this place!" Dozul answered.  "It's really cool with the mecha 
anime, the mecha models and toys available, and all that stuff!"

"Not to mention that *great* rock music!" Mackie cut in.  "I can learn all 
sorts of great guitar techniques here on earth!  In fact, I'm going to be a 
rock star since I'll be sooo cool on stage with my axe!  Just think, Mr. 
Kanzaki, you're getting the first interview with me!  Won't that be 
something?"

"Ummmm...yeah.  As we move along, we have a mixed group here..." indicating 
the lab table where Billie, Kiddy, Michiko, and Joat-mon sat, messing around 
with the various experiments before them.  "And what are your names?"

As each of them gave their names before the camera, Joat-mon reached 
underneath the desk and slipped out a sealed, metal jar and placed it on the 
table.

"So, what experiments are you working on here?" Hibiki asked as Joat-mon 
opened up the jar.

"Oh, just some boring basic reactions we have to observe." Joat-mon said as 
he grabbed a beaker full of sugar.  "Y'know...what happens when you dump 
sugar into water, what happens when you heat metal shavings, that kind of 
thing.  Since you're here, though, we're going to do a *real* experiment.  
One of the reactions we were to observe was what happens when you dump 
hydrochloric acid into a beaker full of sugar.  I thought that would be 
boring, so I decided to improvise a little and substitute some molecular 
acid instead."

"What?  Molecular acid?!  Are you nuts, Joat-mon?" Billie yelped, wide-eyed.

"Be careful with that stuff!  That'll eat through nearly anything!" Michiko 
added.

"Aw, come on, you guys!  Where's your sense of adventure?" Joat-mon shot 
back.  "Here goes!"

Joat-mon quickly poured the acid into the sugar.  What was supposed to 
happen was the creation of a lump of carbon and a whole lot of steam.  
Instead, there was a small splash of the acid as it hit the sugar, the 
shattering of glass as the instantaneous heat overloaded it, and a smoking 
hole as the entire mixture ate through the desk and the floor underneath.

"Phew....good thing this was on the ground floor!" Michiko said in awe, 
looking down through the hole created.

"Aaaahhh!  Joat-mon, you jerk!  Your acid ruined my cyberdeck!  What were 
you thinking??" Kiddy shouted in panic, looking over her deck as drops of 
acid ate through portions of the electronic marvel.

"Ooops."  was all Joat-mon could manage.

"Ummmm...don't worry, Kiddy.  I think I can manage to rig up some fixes for 
the damage there."  Billie said, inspecting the damaged portions.

"Really?  Thanks, Billie!"

"By the way..." Michiko said, trying to change the subject.  "I'm with the 
school paper here, and I have a few questions for you, if you don't mind, 
Mr. Kanzaki."

"Really?  I'll be happy to help a future journalist.  What would you like to 
know for your school paper?"

"Well, word's gotten around that you got demoted at CNN because you got 
involved with one of the alien diplomats." Michiko continued with one of her 
famous smiles.  "Could you confirm or deny this for the record?"

"Ummm, er....no comment." Hibiki said sheepishly as he and Aya slunk away 
towards the table where Nabiki and company were busy with their assignments.

"Ahem.  Nice bit of improvisation there, Mr. Kil'tar.  However, that's not 
what the assignment called for." Urd said while standing behind Joat-mon.

"Out into the hallway, Urd-sensei?"

"Nope.  You get the clean all the windows in the hallway.  Better get 
started."

"Yes, sensei."



Next Episode:  Media Blitz! - Part 2


***Author's Notes

- "How could Kanzaki Hibiki from Macross II get mixed up in this when he 
hasn't even been born yet?!"  Well, we are dealing with a crossover here, 
mainly of Ah! My Goddess and Ranma 1/2, which does open the door for various 
guest-shots and cameos in the future.  I figured that his cameo in episode 
one of this fanfic series was pretty good, and brought him back for more.  
He may be back every now and then, if only to plague our characters with his 
brand of "journalism."  I have a bit of a spot for him since I'm a 
journalism major myself.

Oh, I decided to give that assistant of his from the first Macross II 
episode a name and a bit of a personality.  Thus, we have Nakajima Aya.

- Now, I am not certain on how vehicle-licensing laws work in Japan, 
especially when it comes to high school seniors like Tategawa Minoru.  It 
may very well be that minors aren't allowed to drive at all for all I know.  
I'll admit ignorance in this area as in so many others.  However, I'd like 
to think that Keiichi and Megumi of AMG had developed their respective 
skills with vehicles before entering Nekomi Tech.

- It does seem a bit odd that Hinako-sensei is drinking coffee in that one 
scene, but it does possibly explain a source of her hyperactivity.  Besides, 
she does tend to think of herself as an elder to the students she teaches, 
even if she doesn't act the part a lot of the time...



All Aa! Megamisama and Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Fujishima Kosuke and 
Takahashi Rumiko, respectively.  All other characters copyright Peter Ward, 
Tim Dunn, Tim Holt, "Snafu", and Ray Yeen.

E-mail all comments, suggestions, etc. to falcon@best.com.  They're always 
welcome...even the flames to a certain extent ^^;



