Aa!  Megami-sensei!

by Peter Ward

Episode 5: Media Blitz! Part 2


Recap:  Urd has her hands full for her second day on the job as Furinkan 
high's new chemistry teacher.  Not only did Skuld tag along to see what kind 
of school would hire her, but Urd has to deal with Kanzaki Hibiki, a 
reporter with CNN Tokyo, and his assistant Nakajima Aya, who were assigned 
to report on how human and alien students were getting along in school.  Add 
to that the fact that Joat-mon Kil'tar decided to improvise on the day's 
experiments using molecular acid, and anyone could see that a more-chaotic-
than-usual day is brewing at Furinkan high...


"Oh, great, that reporter is heading this way!"

"Relax, Buffy." Nabiki said to Buffy as Hibiki and Aya made their way 
towards them.  "You don't want to deal with the press?  No problem...just 
leave everything to me!"

The two reporters came up to the table and resumed their footage.  "Here we 
have another mixed group of humans and aliens working together on their 
assignments.  In fact, from what I understand, one of the ladies here is the 
daughter of the lost Japanese astronaut, Amano Hikaru!  Amano Buffy, can we 
get your impression of your father's homeworld..."

"Excuse me, Mr. Kanzaki." Nabiki interrupted.  "Miss Amano's time is quite 
valuable and limited.  I'm her acting agent, Tendo Nabiki, and I'm sure we 
can arrange an interview for, say, 50,000 yen perhaps?"

"Um, er, well..." Hibiki stammered, taken aback by Nabiki's statement and 
the price tag involved.

"I'm sure you'll find a free interview with me, the school's kendo club 
captain, the rising young star of the kendo world, the Blue Thunder of 
Furinkan high, to be much more reasonable!" Kuno cut in.  "I, Kuno 
Tatewaki, will grant you that interview.  You will verily find me to be 
much more fascinating than anyone else on campus..."

While Kuno kept Hibiki's and Aya's attention, Suzie motioned Nabiki and 
Buffy to lean in closer to her.  "Hey, since Mr. Full-of-himself has that 
reporter occupied, I was thinking.  We have to keep these reporters away 
from Ranma!  Can you guys imagine what kind of a field day those two would 
have if they found out his secret?"

"That's right!" Buffy nearly spoke up.  "There'll be no end to the 
attention the press would give him!  Sure, Ranma's in a different classroom, 
but if those reporters catch Ranma in the middle of a transformation..."

"Okay, I'll leave it up to you guys to help keep them occupied, as if Kuno 
needed any help in that department." Nabiki said.  "I'll see if I can get 
Urd-sensei to let me out so I can go warn Ranma and Akane about the 
reporters.  Sensei!"

"Yes, Miss Tendo?" Urd called out as she saw Nabiki's raised hand.

"Permission to use the restroom, sensei?"

"I know you're not going anywhere near a restroom, Miss Tendo.  Go ahead 
since you think it's so urgent."

"Thanks, sensei!" Nabiki called out as she left the room and went down the 
hallway.  As she passed Minoru and Tetsuo standing holding buckets of water, 
as well as Joat-mon starting his chore of washing the windows, she called 
out, "Have fun, boys!"

"Go ahead and rub it in, Nabiki!  We don't care!" Joat-mon yelled back as 
she turned a corner.

Soon, Nabiki made her way to Ranma and Akane's classroom and gently knocked 
on the door.  "Excuse me?" she said as she opened the door and looked in.  
"Hinako-sensei?  May I speak with my sister and her fiance?  It's pretty 
urgent."

Hinako looked up from the english lesson she was teaching and said "Okay, 
but make it quick!"

As Ranma and Akane made their way out into the hallway, Nabiki said "Ranma, 
you're going to have to be really careful around water today!"

"Why?" he asked.  "Does it have anything to do with girls popping out of 
hot-water kettles or something?"

"Huh?  I don't know what you're talking about, but the reason why I'm 
telling you this is that there's a reporter from CNN covering our class 
today."

"So?  Why should I be worried?  After all, it's your class that's being 
covered, not ours." Ranma replied.

"Sure, but what if they catch you transforming on camera?  Are you sure you 
want that to end up on national TV, let alone international or intergalactic 
TV?"

"That wouldn't be good, Nabiki." Akane said.  "It'd end up like something 
out of a tabloid!"

"Exactly!" Nabiki confirmed.  "Besides, we don't want certain people to find 
out about that little secret, like Auntie Saotome..."

"Alright, I get the point!" Ranma spat out, visions of seppuku involving 
him, his father, and his mother flashing in his head.  "I'll be careful!"

"Good!  After all, it's hard to get money back from a corpse!" Nabiki said 
as she turned to leave.  "Buffy, Suzie, and I will help keep that reporter 
occupied, but you'll still need to be careful.  If those cameras of theirs 
should catch certain scenes..."

"Okay!  I think that's long enough!" Hinako called out as she stepped out 
into the hallway.  "Mr. Saotome, Miss Tendo Akane, get back in here!  Miss 
Tendo Nabiki, go back to your class before I report you for playing hooky!"

"Yes, sensei!  See you third period!" Nabiki called back as she headed back 
for the chemistry labs.

While Nabiki had been relaying the warning to Ranma, and Kuno still tied 
down the reporters with his opinions of himself, Skuld made her way to the 
table where Kiddy, Michiko, and Billie sat, trying to complete their 
experiments without Joat-mon.  When she got there there, she grabbed Kiddy's 
ruined cyberdeck and started to examine it closely.

"Hey, what are you doing with my deck?" Kiddy asked, suprised to see a 
little girl standing next to them.

"Hmmmmmm....the acid didn't eat away at the main logic chips, so we won't 
have to replace those or most of the sub-processors." Skuld said, not 
acknowledging the others.  "However, the memory control circuits were wiped 
out, along with part of the memory itself....not to mention the numeric 
keypad.  I can't do anything about the casing...you'll have to take it in 
for replacement.  Other than that..."  Leaving her train of thought at that, 
she grabbed a piece of paper out of Billie's open notebook and started to 
draw out a series of technical illustrations with blinding speed.

Several seconds later, she held up the blueprints to the trio, who was 
watching with amazement.  "Think you can assemble this?  It's a work-around 
for the ruined components of the cyberdeck.  By my figures, it should also 
improve the deck's performance by 25% by optimizing the memory 
configuration."

While the other two were staring at the plans, Billie managed to say 
"Uhhhh...yeah, I think we could, if we had the parts...half those parts I've 
never seen in my life, though.  And I spent half of my life around mecha 
assembly lines!"

"Ooops!" Skuld said.  "Let me heat up some water here and I'll see if I have 
them lying around my room!  By the way, I'm Skuld, 'Urd-sensei's' sister!  
I already heard your names, by the way, so no need to introduce yourselves."

"Ummm...nice to meet you Skuld!" Michiko managed at last, while watching a 
beaker of water heating over a bunsen burner that Skuld set up.  "We didn't 
know that Urd-sensei had a sister.  Then again, there isn't much we know 
about her...oh, your water's getting pretty warm."

"Thanks, Michiko!" Skuld said as she crawled up on the table.  "I'll be back 
in a few minutes, so keep that water warm.  Oh, do I have a few stories 
about sis that I'll have to tell you!  Later!"

With a smirk, Skuld lept into the water and disappeared in front of them as 
they stared.

"Whoa!  First, the mindreading, then yesterday's lightning strike, and now 
teleportation." Kiddy mused.  "I guess this clinches it, Urd-sensei and 
anyone else in her family aren't human."

"Well, it's a start, partner." Michiko replied with a smile.  "Of course, 
with those stories Skuld promised, I think our first column this year will 
be a doozy."

While the three were looking over the beaker full of warm water, Nabiki 
walked back into the room and slipped back to her table unnoticed.  Not to 
her suprise, Kuno was still bragging about himself to the two reporters, 
who were trying to get far away from him.

"Okay, guys," Nabiki whispered, "I passed the word to Ranma and Akane, so 
they know to look out.  Now, we're going to have to do our part.  Kuno can't 
hold them forever, even though he'd like to.  Any ideas?"

"Well, if that old pervert showed his face around here today, we'd certainly 
have something to show them..." Buffy said with a hint of malice.

"Yes, but I don't think we can cover the whole day with that, fun as it may 
be for you." Nabiki replied.  "I think we'll just have to come up with 
several distractions to use.  Hate to say this, Buffy, but I think a good 
one would be an interview with you."

"I was afraid of that." Buffy sighed.  "Anyway, let's wrap the assignment up 
while we still can.  Hate to start the year with an F.  Hey, Kuno! I know 
you're in the middle of a fascinating interview, but we've gotta finish this 
up!  If you're not going to, I'll make you" she finished with an evil grin. 

As Kuno snorted and turned back to the assignment, the reporters scurried 
away and Skuld popped back out of her beaker with a bag.  As soon as she got 
back down on the floor, she opened up the bag and dumped out a small pile of 
exotic electronics on the table.  "Here, this is what I managed to find.  
They should be what you need to fix the deck."

"And that's all you're giving them." Urd finished for Skuld as she walked up 
to the workbench.  "Nice to see that you're sharing things, but you're not 
going to be sharing those stories of yours today.  I told you to stay out of 
trouble!"

"Awwww...afraid I'm going to embarrass you in front of your students, dear 
sister?" Skuld replied as she headed back for her seat by the window.  
"Sorry guys, maybe another time?"

"Ummmm...yeah, if we get the chance!" Michiko replied, still managing a 
smile.

"Okay, students, back to work.  The period'll be over soon, so you'll have 
to wrap things up!  Leave your papers in the 'in' basket once you're done."

At the end of the period, everyone turned in their complete, or incomplete 
in some cases, assignments and headed back to their regular classroom while 
Urd remained behind to prepare for the next period and to keep Skuld in 
line during her uninvited stay.

Second period went pretty smooth with the reporters in class, but things 
were a bit bumpy during third period...

"You're the teacher for this class?!"

"That's right, Mr. Kanzaki!  I'm Minomiya Hinako-sensei, and I don't like 
having my classes disrupted.  Do we understand each other?"

Hibiki and Aya were taken aback by what they saw as a 12-year-old girl 
before them.  They couldn't figure out how to deal with her, especially 
since she was acting hyper while talking tough.  While most of the longtime 
students were grinning and snickering at the reporters' predicament, the new 
students empathized with the pair.  They were still trying to come to terms 
with a teacher that looked way younger than they were most of the time.

"Um, sure...we won't cause any trouble.  We'll, uh, stand back in the corner 
and just tape quietly.  No problem." Hibiki said with a faltering voice as 
he took Aya to the back of the room.

As they made their way back, Nabiki caught their attention and waved them 
over to where she sat.  "Say, guys, how long are you going to be here 
anyway?"

"Until lunchtime, I think." Hibiki replied.  "I figure we'll have enough 
footage in the classroom by then.  We'll just have interviews with some of 
the teachers, then we'll have to go prepare the story in the studios.  By 
the way, you sure you don't want to lower those fees for an interview with 
Miss Amano?  I mean, they're awfully steep..."

"Okay, let me consult with Miss Amano and we'll get back to you next period, 
okay?"

"Okay, but just remember that we're leaving at lunch!"

As the two continued on back, Nabiki turned towards Buffy and whispered, 
"Okay, if you don't mind, I'm going to set up an interview on the way to the 
teachers' lounge.  That way, we'll keep the reporters occupied until they 
get there.  Less risk of them getting sidetracked by certain scenes."

"Gotcha.  I don't like dealing with the media, especially with how they 
crowded all around me when I first came here.  However, since I did promise 
to help Ranma keep his secret, I'll do it."

"Good.  It's especially crucial since odds are that Shampoo's going to pay 
a visit as well, along with god knows who else.  Don't need attracting the 
reporters' attention."

Nabiki had to cut off the conversation at that point, since Hinako was 
calling the class to attention so she could start the day's lessons.  The 
rest of the morning went by without a hitch.  Even Joat-mon, having finished 
his disciplinary chore of washing the windows, kept relatively well-behaved 
so he could avoid one of Hinako's aura drains.

During that time, Nabiki made the arrangements for the interview and even 
lowering the fee down to 5000 yen (suprising even herself), which was split 
two ways between herself and Buffy.  When lunch rolled around, the two 
reporters wound up with an escort of Buffy, Nabiki, and Suzie while they 
walked down the hall towards the teachers' lounge.

"So, Miss Amano, it's early in the school year, but do you think earth's 
schools provide enough of a challenge for you?"

Buffy thought a bit about Hibiki's question, then answered, "In a lot of 
ways, yes, they would.  I mean, I'm not exactly a genius, but I think I can 
deal with the classes here.  The PE sessions are a bit wimpy for my taste, 
though.  Then again, us Hakane are on the strong side and we make martial 
arts training a way of life, unlike most humans.  Luckily, thanks to my 
friend Nabiki here, I was able to find a dojo in the area where I could 
continue my training."

As they walked down the hallway, approaching Ranma's and Akane's classroom, 
Nabiki was thinking, "Okay, so far so good.  If Shampoo doesn't come in the 
next couple of minutes, we'll be all clear!"

Nabiki's hopes were dashed when the sound of a wall being smashed down 
echoed through the hallway from the classroom.  As Hibiki's and Aya's well-
honed reflexes got them ready to cover a possible emergency, Suzie bounded 
into the classroom, shouting "I'll see what it is...you guys stay put!"

As Suzie leaped into the classroom, she saw the hole in the wall near where 
Ranma and Akane were sitting, and a purple-haired girl in Chinese clothing 
standing in it holding a pair of what looked like oversized metal rattles.  
She also happened to notice a sprinkler above Ranma starting to spurt from 
the damage caused by whatever bashed in the wall.

In two bounds, Suzie managed to cross the distance between herself and the 
three, and shoved Ranma out of the way of the spraying water.  Luckily, she 
was in time and Ranma remained a male as the cameras started rolling.

Unfortunately, Ranma was caught by suprise by all of this and wasn't 
prepared for Suzie's presence, especially with how close they ended up 
being.  Ranma ended up screaming his lungs out and rushed for a corner of 
the room.

"Sorry about that, Ranma, but you were told to be careful around water 
today.  Wish I was so lucky...now my fur's going to be matted all afternoon 
thanks to that girl..."

As Suzie turned around to face the strange girl, she found herself facing 
one of those clubs as it was being held steady towards her.

"You there.  You try steal my Ranma, cat girl?  Shampoo not like that!"

"And I don't like it when someone tries to break up a friend's engagement" 
Suzie said as she jumped on top of the metal club that Shampoo was holding.  
"So why don't you go along and leave everybody alone, okay?"

"You not scare Shampoo, cat girl.  Besides, Ranma mine by tribal law."

"Yeah, right.  As far as I'm concerned, he's Akane's, not yours." Suzie 
growled, preparing to take a swipe at Shampoo.

"You know lot.  Too bad it crazy girl story, not truth!" Shampoo said as she 
swung the other club so as to catch Suzie inbetween the two clubs.  Suzie 
leapt clear and the club being swung was caught by someone else.

"Who you?  Why you interfere?"

"I'm Amano Buffy, and from one amazon to another, it's not nice to steal 
other girls' fiances" Buffy said as she took a firm hold of the club she 
grabbed and swung it and Shampoo around and back towards the hole in the 
wall.  Shampoo recovered nicely and landed on her feet at the ledge she 
made.

"Amano Buffy,  Shampoo not forget this.  You watch out."  With that, Shampoo 
leaped out the hole and went on her way.

A second after Shampoo left, a tall boy with long hair and a white Chinese 
robe jumped into the room and tightly embraced Suzie.  "Shampoo!  I will 
win you from Saotome yet!"

While Suzie and Buffy stood there, confused by the stranger, Akane walked 
up and slapped his glasses (which were perched on top of his head) down 
into position.

"Huh?", the boy said with confusion.

"As you can see, Mousse, Shampoo isn't even here." an irritated Akane said.

"Who are you?  What are you?!" Mousse asked Suzie, not paying attention to 
Akane.

Before Suzie could answer, Hinako stormed into the room, followed by Urd and 
Skuld.  "You again?  When are you going to learn not to damage school 
property?"  With that, she whipped out a five-yen coin and held it in 
Mousse's direction.  While Suzie was able to leap clear, Mousse found 
himself drained of all energy.

As Mousse lay on the floor, Buffy stepped up and said, "Excuse me, Hinako-
sensei?  Mousse here didn't cause the damage.  I think he was chasing after 
the girl who did."

"And where is she, Miss Amano?" Urd asked.

"Ummm...she went out the hole in the wall..." Buffy said sheepishly, 
remembering that she was the one that allowed Shampoo to get away.

"Okay, I think we can handle it from here." Urd said in resignation.  
"Buffy, Suzie, Nabiki, got back to your room.  Hinako and I will take...
Mousse...here over to the detention room.  Hibiki, Aya, sorry about the 
disruption..."

Urd's voice trailed off as she realized that the two reporters were staring 
at Hinako's now-adult form.  "Right.  If you two will come with me, I think 
Hinako will take care of our little visitor, right Hinako?"

"Right...he's not so bad now, is he?" Hinako said, picking Mousse up and 
slinging him over one shoulder.

"Guess not." Urd replied, not knowing anything about Mousse in the first 
place.  "Anyway, if you two will follow me, I think we'll wrap up your 
visit here."

As she stepped out into the hallway, Urd quickly took Skuld aside.  "Now you 
see why I didn't want you picking a fight with Hinako this morning?"

"Alright, sis, I get the point."  Skuld muttered as she trailed behind Urd.  
"If it'll make you happy, I'm also willing to admit that you're doing better 
at this job than I thought you would, okay?"

"Why, thank you, Skuld...I think that's the nicest thing you've said to me 
in a long time."

"Well, don't expect me to let up on you, sis.  Someone's gotta keep an eye 
on you to make sure you don't screw things up too bad.  Might as well be me, 
right?"

"What?  Me screw up?  Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Ohh...I dunno.  Letting Joat-mon get access to the molecular acid today 
would be a good indicator of how much you'd screw things up."

"Wait a minute!  That wasn't my fault, you brat!  I don't even have the 
stuff stored in the lab!  And who invited you over here anyway?"

While the two sisters squabbled, Hibiki and Aya followed from a distance, 
with Aya looking back and forth between Hibiki and the two sisters.

"You know, Hibiki, maybe covering the flower festival isn't such a bad idea 
after all." Aya said weakly.

"Naaaa.  Sure, this place is crazy.  I wouldn't have it any other way." 
Hibiki said with a grin.  "If we play our cards right,  we'll have regular 
work for the next year.  That is, assuming the students or faculty don't 
demolish the place during that time.  My gut instinct says that this is 
only the start."

"It wouldn't have anything to do with good-looking women on the teaching 
staff, would it?" Aya asked in annoyance.

"No comment, Aya.  Anyway, after this last interview, let's grab a bite to 
eat then head back to the studios.  I think we have some interesting 
material for tonight's story."

That evening, the temple was a bit busier than usual, since not only were 
the three sisters and Keiichi were there to watch the news story, but so 
were Megumi, the Nekomi Tech Motor Club, and Hinako, all of whom were 
invited over by Urd to watch the story.

"All right Urd!" Tamiya yelled, leading the club members in a round of cat-
calls and cheering as the story came to a close.

"Yeah, they made me look good, didn't they?" Urd asked out loud, relieved at 
how everything turned out.

"You're not the only one who looked good!" Hinako said, elbowing Urd.  "They 
got some good footage of me in action."

"Yeah, I noticed that Hibiki got some good footage of you all right!" Urd 
said with a wink.  "That reminds me, I'm going to have to have a little talk 
with Buffy tomorrow morning.  Seems she didn't mention her throwing that 
girl out the wall at lunch."

"There'll be plenty of time for that, Urd." Belldandy cut in.  "Dinner's 
just about ready, and there's plenty for everyone!"

As the mass of people crowded towards the kitchen, Skuld called out "Big 
sis!  Did you get more ice cream?  We were pretty low this morning."

"Gee, I wonder why?" Urd teased.

"Don't worry, Skuld, I got plenty since we were having guests!"

"Oh, goody!" Hinako yelled out, cutting in front of everyone.  "I love ice 
cream!"

"Just wait until after dinner, Hinako-sensei." Belldandy said to the eager 
young girl.

"Yeah, and make sure you leave plenty for the rest of us!" Skuld said as 
she came up beside Hinako.

"You mean, leave plenty for yourself, Skuld?" Urd said, not resisting the 
tempation to get in another shot.

As everyone at the temple got ready to eat and celebrate Urd's new job, a 
TV was switched off in another household.

"Well, now, this would explain why Urd hasn't been to Nekomi Tech the past 
couple of days." Mishima Sayoko said thoughtfully.  "Wonder how she became 
a teacher all of a sudden?"

"Probably forged some credentials or something." Marller responded.  "And 
I thought us demons had the corner on that market.  Heh.  With her occupied 
with those schoolkids, taking care of Belldandy will be so much easier."

"But Keiichi will be so heartbroken." Dorllir said sadly.  "I'll have to be 
there to help cheer him up when Belldandy has to leave."

"There she goes again about Keiichi." Marller thought to herself.  "Don't 
know what she sees in that loser."  After a moment of further thought, she 
said out loud "Wait a second.  Belldandy won't be our only target!  Urd 
just left hereself a sitting duck!  If we ladies come up with a plan, I 
think we can not only cost Urd her job, but I think we can get her tossed 
off of Nekomi Tech's campus for good as well.  The other two sisters will 
follow like dominoes if we do this right..."


Next Episode:  This Little Piggy Went to a Temple...


Author's notes:

- Yes, that's little Dorllir making a cameo towards the end there.  In case 
you're not familiar with the character, she's an original creation of Larry 
Mann and Ryan Matthews and was featured in the story "The Green-Eyed 
Monster", another Aa! Megamisama fanfic.  She might appear in the Aa! Megami-
sensei fanfics in the future, as well as a side story or two I may come up 
with to deal with Marller and Sayoko's attempts to deal with Belldandy and 
Keiichi on the NIT campus.

- I'll be taking a slight break (maybe a week or so) between this episode 
and the next so I can not only update the WWW Urd Shrine (http://www.best.
com/~falcon/urdhome.htm), but add a section to it that'll be an archive for 
this fanfic series as well as a who's who of the characters (including some 
illustrations).  It'll also have fanfics from other authors.  It should be 
ready in a week or two. (as I write this on 11/28/95).  Once that's done, 
among other things, I should be ready to move on with the story.  It 
shouldn't take long, though.


All Aa! Megamisama and Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Fujishima Kosuke and 
Takahashi Rumiko, respectively.  All other characters copyright Peter Ward, 
Tim Dunn, Tim Holt, "Snafu", and Ray Yeen.

E-mail all comments, suggestions, etc. to falcon@best.com.  They're always 
welcome...even the flames to a certain extent ^^;



